What have we been discussing lately?? We’ve been talking about the best ways to correct our children when necessary. The modern method of parenting often steers away from any physical punishment. I recently read a book where the author tells parents to “talk only” to children when they need discipline. She declared that punishment never works. The way I see it…a child that grows up thinking that punishment is never an option are the ones that would not be afraid to break laws or sin against God. Is that what we want for our kids? That is not the Bible way of parenting.
Let’s continue this topic and see what the Lord has to say on how to discipline the children God has given us.
“And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever? For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening – it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” Hebrews 12:5-11
As a Bible believer, you can see that it is the will and plan of God to correct our children when necessary. Why? Because we truly love and care for their souls.
It takes proper discipline to create a masterpiece.
Notice that I said proper. This means doing it the Bible way and with lots and lots of love backing it up. Proper discipline can help produce a masterpiece! We can’t just make the decision to discipline, but we must know how, when and then follow through with our commitments to our child and ourselves.
When a parent responds with anger, it only gives the child reasons for anger in return. And if we scream at them, we are teaching them that is what you do when something is not done as you expected it be.
Now you can call me old fashioned, but I prefer to call it “The Bible Way.” A spanking done properly does wonders! It did for my husband and me growing up and then with our children and then with their children.
Let’s go over some scriptures that answer the question of how we should correct our child when they misbehave or rebel against authority. Here we go…
“Physical punishment cleanses away evil; such discipline purifies the heart.” Proverbs 20:30
“A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away.” Proverbs 22:15
“Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.” Proverbs 13:24
Granted, this does not mean that every time a child misbehaves that we need spank them. Some children may never need spanked if other forms of punishment works. The secret is to do what WORKS for that child! What is unfortunate is when a parent doesn’t spank their child after other discipline actions don’t work.
These are questions to ask yourself…
- Does my child have a bad attitude when I tell them to do something?
- Does my child ignore me when I correct them as if I am not even speaking?
- Do I find myself having to tell them the same thing over and over again? (which, by the way, is mere nagging)
- Has grounding them or taking a privilege away changed their attitude and actions?
- Does my child embarrass me in public and won’t stop misbehaving by simply telling them to?
- Do friends and family LOVE to be around my children and look forward to time with them? If not, why?
If you see your situation in these questions and realize that scolding, grounding, taking away privileges or threatening has not worked, then it is time to discipline physically. Physical discipline is NOT abuse. Abuse is when you touch your child in anger and proceed to hurt them out of anger. THIS is abuse and against everything the Bible teaches. Next week we will go over the biblical way to physically discipline our child.
To Do: Spend time with your spouse and get on the same page with your methods of disciplining. If you don’t agree, study God’s Word and come together on Proverbs 28:12: “When the godly succeed, everyone is glad.” Hopefully you can agree that you both desire to succeed in parenting so the entire family is happy. Pray the Lord directs you in what He desires you to do as parents.
Suggested Family Time: It’s wintertime and kids and parents alike are probably wishing for warmer weather so you can get out of the house more! Instead of wishing a season away, take advantage of some winter activities with the family like ice skating or snow tubing. If you get snow, push past the freezing cold temps and go outside to play with them to make some memories they’ll forever cherish.
Time to Smile: A mom was listening intently while visiting her 5th grade son’s career day at school. The children were asked what a psychiatrist does. Her son replied promptly. “That’s when someone asks you to lie down on a couch and then you blame everything on your mother.”
Recommended Reading: Raising a Modern Day Knight: A Father’s Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood by Robert Lewis
Previous Recap: The Right Time to Discipline. We were reminded that disciplining our children is not an option if we want to create a masterpiece that is respectful, loving and honest. We also learned that consistency is a must to accomplish our parenting goals.