Ben Carson talks about peer pressure from others with the the analogy of a crab tank. They never have to put a lid on a crab tank because if one crab starts to crawl out, the others will grab onto him and pull him back down. To overcome peer pressure, a child must have high self-esteem to where they will not hang out with ‘crabs’ and be held down from being what God designed them to be.
Elevating your child’s self-esteem is rewarding.
One of the most needed things to do for our children would be to raise their self-esteem. The problem with so many adults today is that the parents did not consciously do this which took them down roads as a child, teen or adult that they didn’t need to travel.
A child that has high self-esteem will NOT give into peer pressure.
The greatest tool the devil will use on kids is to make them feel like they are a nobody. This causes them to do whatever is offered to them so they will feel good about themselves. Every person must like who they are. It is a natural reaction to want to be liked and to not be the one that sits on the sidelines while everyone else seems to be enjoying life. This causes pressure that most kids are not wired to deal with.
Pressure: The continued action of a weight or force. A state of trouble or strain. A compelling influence or force.
Whether you see it or believe it, your child has constant pressure pushing against them. Would we leave our child to themselves if they were having to move a car by pushing it? They are not capable of such a task. Well, we are leaving them alone to deal with pressures by peers (or possibly parents).
Peer pressure started in the beginning of time…
The stinkin’ serpent convinced Eve that she needed to be more to be someone special.
John the Baptist was beheaded because Herod felt the pressure from the crowd to give in to his daughter’s wishes.
Moses had tons of peer pressure, but he actually handled it well. He would not give the grumpy Israelites what they wanted and he was a great leader because of it.
My feeling is that poor Eve didn’t have a mom or dad to raise her self-esteem. Moses’ mom raised him as his nurse and my guess is that she drilled in him every day that he was special and that with the help of God Jehovah he would rise above the pressures around him. We think our kids have it rough with peer pressure, can you even begin to imagine the pressure Moses faced every day being raised in the home of Pharaoh?! There is no doubt that Jochebed spent many days reminding Moses who he was and that God had His hands on his life.
This upbringing gave him the courage and stamina to get Pharaoh to let God’s chosen ones go free. It is also gave him the ability to pastor over one million sinful and griping people for 40 years.
Parents, we will be talking about raising our child’s self esteem in the next few blogs, but today I implore you to make the decision to do whatever it takes to be certain your child loves himself and does not spend his life trying to be someone else just because those around him try to change them.
It is not fair for them to have the great temptations around them be so overwhelming without giving them tools to be victorious. It is the will of God that our children grow up strong and confident and are able to stand on their own two feet by…
- not relying on others to succeed.
- not depending on someone else to have to support them.
- not being influenced by the wrong crowd that could take them down the wrong road.
- not having distractions that will get them out of the will of God.
This strength and security will come from the home.
High self-esteem in a child will create miracles in their behavior.
- If a child feels loved and has self-worth, they will not have issues with their identity, relationships and level of responsibility.
- Teens will not have to rely on peers for their identity. If they are sure of who they are and know their purpose in life, then the wrong influence will not be damaging.
- It is normal for teens to begin the journey of venturing out to one day become self-reliant. They are transitioning from a child to an adult. If he starts out with low self-esteem, he already has marks against him. The journey through the ‘troubled teen years’ can be hard and many times disappointing to the parents. If you already have teens that you feel do not have the self esteem needed to become a masterpiece, it is not too late. Yes, it will be a little harder to accomplish, but certainly possible.
To Do: Start today by having a heart to heart with your child and get their feelings on who they are and how they feel about themselves. This will get you started on this journey to raising their self-esteem. There are 12 ways to raise your child’s self esteem that we will be hearing about starting in the next blog. Be sure to check it out!
Family Time: Do you have young kids in the home? Have a puppet show! If you have teens, they can be involved in helping the younger ones make puppets out of bags and other creative things around the house. Find some fun things to use for props. Make a stage with sheets and chairs and have the kids perform a show and sing some songs with their creations. Be sure to video and you’ll cherish this time making memories with your kids.
Time to Smile: Quite some time ago…a mom was away on business when she made a collect call home. Her 6 year old answered the call and a stranger on the other end said, “We have Marcie on the line. Will you accept the charges?” Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, “Dad! They’ve got mom! And they want money.”
Recommended Reading: Boundaries with Kids by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend (How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children)
Previous Recap: Discipline With Love. We have been talking about the necessity and proper ways of discipline. By correcting our children and doing it the right way, we are making parenting a great experience and helping our kids be their best. We are finding the joy of parenting and not making it a drudgery. It is God’s will that we love to parent. Creating a masterpiece is a wonderful thing.